What Is Bullying? | Only Bullies Bully

What bullying can look like

Bullying is when someone keeps hurting, scaring or putting down another person on purpose.

Words

Name-calling, insults, threats, mean comments about how someone looks or talks

Identity

Jokes or put-downs about someone’s culture, tribe, family, skin color or where they’re from, or saying they’re not “Native enough”

Social

Spreading rumors, leaving someone out on purpose, getting others to turn on someone

Physical

Hitting, tripping, pushing, taking or breaking someone’s stuff

Online

Mean messages, posts or comments, sharing screenshots or photos to embarrass someone, group chats made to talk about someone

Joking or bullying?

It’s joking when…

It stops when someone says “not cool.”

It’s between equals.

It happens once and it’s over.

It’s bullying when…

It keeps going, or gets worse.

One side has more power: more friends, more followers, older, bigger.

It happens again and again.

What it feels like to them is what it is.

If it’s happening to you

It’s not your fault. Nobody deserves to be bullied.

Tell an adult you trust.

A parent, grandparent, auntie, uncle, cousin, elder, coach, teacher or school counselor. If the first person doesn’t help, tell someone else.

Report it at school.

Talk to a school counselor, trusted teacher or Indian Club teacher.

Don’t fight back.

Walk away and stay near friends or adults.

If it’s online, save it.

Take screenshots before you block or delete.

Do things that make you feel like you.

Spend time with people who treat you well.

Feeling hopeless or thinking about hurting yourself? Call or text 988. It’s free and open 24/7.

Online, it still counts

A mean message takes seconds to send. The hurt lasts much longer, and online it can follow someone home.

Before you send, post or share, think about the person on the other side of the screen.
Don’t reply to the bully. It usually makes it worse.
Save proof. Screenshots with dates and usernames.
Block and report the account in the app.
If someone shares, threatens to share or asks for nude photos of you, tell an adult right away. You’re not in trouble, and there’s free help to get images taken down.

For parents and caregivers

Kids often don’t tell adults they’re being bullied. Watch for changes like these:

Not wanting to go to school or activities
Lost or broken belongings, or injuries they can’t explain
Changes in sleep, eating or grades
Seeming upset after being on their phone
Losing friends or avoiding people

What helps

Ask, then listen. Stay calm, even if you’re upset.
Don’t say “just ignore it” or “hit back.” Neither one helps.
Work with the school. Write down what happened, when and who was involved.
Know their apps. Talk about what they’d do if they saw or got something mean online.
If your child is the one bullying, take it seriously. Set clear consequences and talk about how it affects others.

Find resources →

Get help and learn more

Find people to talk to, ways to report and more.

See bullying resources →

Need to talk to someone now?‍

Call or text 988, or text NATIVE to 741741. It’s free and open 24/7.

If you or someone else is in danger right now, call 911.

Only bullies bully.Do you?